Okay ladies, time for some real talk about your wedding day.
You want your day to be perfect. I’ve been in the wedding industry for a while now, and I've seen a thing or two - some things I didn't want to see. Maybe I’ll write a book about those experiences one day. I have secrets and tips. I'll keep this simple because as a wedding photographer and a former bride myself, I know what you need to know.
Many brides don't know where to start, because, well, you're not really supposed to know everything. This is new and there isn't much education out there. Pinterest lies. I’m your behind the scenes girl. I’ve seen the good, the bad, and horrifying at the 100+ weddings that I’ve photographed, and I’ve narrowed down the top 10 things you need to know while planning a #wedding. Grab your coffee and notebook!
1. Hire a professional photographer. Being one myself, I think that’s the top priority.
There are countless reasons that you don’t want Aunt Sally or a good friend taking pictures on your most important day. YES, we are expensive. You get what you pay for. Uncle Bob with his "nice camera on AUTO" just won't cut it. And not all photographers are equal. A newborn photographer has a different skill set than a full-time wedding photographer. First of all, we don't get peed on, usually.
Mad props to the newborn photographers, but weddings are a whole other ballgame. Behind every pro wedding photographer, you have extensive training, mentors, tears, practice, more practice, research, buying proper gear ($$$), boob sweat, subscriptions to editing programs, back pain from carrying around tons of gear, hours on our feet, hours of editing (pimples are real - we all have them - get a pro who actually edits them out.), taxes we pay for being self-employed, lens calibrations, meetings with potential clients, advertising, travel fees, back-up software, and so much more that the average person does not have time for or access to.
We are always ready and looking to photograph once in a lifetime moments. We obsess over making sure your veil is in the perfect spot and that golden hour is near, even if it means we have dripping sweat and we’re climbing trees and crawling on the ground. We get that one moment where you and your groom are alone and he is whispering in your ear, while everyone else is getting in line for cake. Sometimes we double up as a coordinator, which brings me to number two.
2. Many of us will totally help coordinate and plan a timeline. I do it often and actually enjoy it, but not every photographer will. We know how long we take for family photos, etc. but we want to work alongside a coordinator. Like the real ones who help you plan how you want your chairs set up, find other vendors in the area, set up and break down day of, clean up the mess, help us with timelines, help distract your drunk guests and keep them from burning the place down, make sure your bridal party is where they need to be when, help serve the food, are up to date on current styles, and more. A coordinator is important, but if you don’t have one, allow us to help you with the schedule and timeline of the day.
3. Buy the dress you want. Not the dress your mom wants or your friend wants. And please pleeease, don't wear the brightess white white. You will look like a ghost. There are many flattering shades of white, just trust me on this one. You don't have to spend thousands on a dress. You can even re-sell it (because your daughter probably won’t want to wear it) or you can use it for anniversary photos. Just be true to you.
There are great local bridal consignment shops and online places! I had two brides use these options and get a dress for just a few hundred- no one knew the difference! Keep an eye out for sample sales at bridal stores. But buy what you love, then enjoy it. Buy it, get it altered, wear it, get the dress dirty, have fun!
3A. Go to the fitting. All of them. You don't want your dress too loose and falling down or too long and trip on it (that was me). Also, they have sew-in bras for a reason. You want to be able to dance and move without worry – but that’s a story for my future book.
3B. Grooms- You need to get fitted too! There is nothing worse than pants that are too loose or long or the suit is too big in the shoulders. You need to dress well too! Suits are never out of style. Bowties are seriously the bomb. Don't forget it’s your day too. An ironed button up and tie is the least you could do! Make your mom proud and buy dress shoes that match your belt!
4. You don't have to wait to see each other until the ceremony. First looks are very popular. You get more photos by doing a first look, because you aren’t as rushed for time after the ceremony to get to the reception and your guests. You can get so many photos before the ceremony to save you stress afterwards. A first look is more intimate. It's pretty freaking amazing. I think the groom is more raw and real when you two are alone. Let your photographer help you decide on the time and location for this first look. We like to find big oak trees or an area near the water away from people’s prying eyes and good intentions.
If you do decide to stay traditional, make sure your guest have things to do at the reception such as a photo booth, guest books, cocktail hour with finger foods, and even have the DJ start line dances. ---> Slide through these photos to see some groom reactions during their first looks!
5. THE DJ. Again, hire a pro. The music will make or break a reception. Nothing is worse than a dry (literally) reception. Find someone who is fun, has proper equipment, experience, a good personality, and good reviews. Poor equipment can mean guests not able to hear your vows, loud screeching from the speakers interrupting your dad’s emotional toast, or a pause in music right as you and your partner hit the dance floor. (Make it stoppp). The more fun and dancing there is, the more photos you will get. Get your booty on the floor and dance. It’s time to celebrate! Let’s shake, wobble, and eat cake (yum! Best perk of the job!).
5. Be Real! We want you to be real with us about the awkward stuff. Prefer your right side? Parents divorced? Don't want your brother's new girlfriend in the family photos? Tell us! Don't be afraid to ask for help! Or tell us you prefer photos of people snorting their sprite out of their nose over posed photos of you and grandma. Want to sneak away from the reception for sunset photos? Need other vendor suggestions? Talk to us. Whatever. Just tell us. I like to meet my brides in person for this reason. It's our job to get to know you so we know what’s most important. Every bride is different.
6. God made flowers. Use and enjoy them. Fake flowers are very hard to pull off. This is my
blog, so I'll share my loud opinion. I hate them. They look just as fake in photos. They end up
being expensive to buy and not worth the small amount "saved". The right florist will know how to style, arrange, preserve, and deliver amazing flowers and photographers drool over them. Another idea is to grow your own flowers ahead of time. Wildflowers are easy and perfect. I have had two brides do it and it was perfect. Then have someone help you put them together. Give me ALL the color. Go bold. It will change the whole look of your photos.
Pro tip: get a bouquet appropriate for your frame. If you're 5ft tall and 120 pounds you don't need a huge bouquet. While at the same time, a tiny bouquet looks awkward. Fill it with greenery to give some volume. Don't forget about your bridesmaids, they need good flowers too. It’s all about balance.
Then save the flowers! Press and dry them and put them behind glass in your home forever, or have someone deliver them to a hospital the next day. Don't throw them away! Let that investment double.
7. Your location matters. If you get married in a barn, it will look like you got married in a barn. READ: It will look dark. If you don’t have white ceilings or natural light it can be hard to photograph. Consider lighting, shade options, and rain options. Rent a huge white tent and use it for food and dancing anyway. If your ceremony is outside and it rains you'll be glad you did. Consider where the cars are parked. You don't want them in the background of all your photos. Consider where you get ready. You’ll want pictures of you and your groom preparing for the big day. Clear the clutter. Does your venue have an open well-lit space to get ready?
What is your style? Industrial? Romantic? If you get married in a church do they allow flash? Do they allow photographers at all during the ceremony? This is something we run into more often than you would think. There is nothing worse than not being able to get shots of the ceremony at all. I’m a rule breaker but not all photographers will fight for the right to shoot.
8. Unplug. It's a real thing. You've probably seen the photos around social media about an
unplugged wedding and I’m here to tell you that the sign you put out may not work. Consider
having not only a sign, but even a basket to leave phones in, or someone announce to put the
phones away. It's sad but we live in a society where people are more concerned about showing their blurry cell phone pic on social media than actually attending and respecting a once in a lifetime event. You hired a professional photographer for a reason. The phones and iPads can wait till the reception. We see so many shots ruined by someone stepping into the aisle IN FRONT OF the photographer and trying to grab their shot for a few Instagram likes. Unfortunately, it really does ruin the shots we are paid to get, like the Groom's reaction (*face palm*). I will tell someone to have a seat and put their device down, but we hate being the bad guys.Please be sure to explain to your guests, or if you are reading this and going to be a guest at a wedding, put the damn phone away. The bride and groom are paying a lot of money and it’s disrespectful to try to compete with the pros that day. You were invited to be a guest, not a photographer. We want you to take photos when we are getting detail shots or at the reception. We want you to be included. We want you to have photos on your camera, but we so much want to see your smiling face with your daughter or son helping them get in their attire, holding their hands, and soaking up the day. Let us photograph you doing that. The bride and groom will appreciate it.
9. We are okay with you eloping. In fact, we love it! We want you to be true to you, but hire a pro and take us with you! Find the photographers that will travel with you. You will probably end up saving money, not just with us, but for the whole day! It’s stress free and fun. Some of my favorite weddings to photograph were on top of a mountain or at the beach with just the bride and groom/ and /or parents and closest family and friends. Relax, people will understand
10. Enjoy the day. The day won’t be perfect. People won't be perfect. Something will happen. Let it go. If you plan ahead, you will save yourself stress. Seriously enjoy this one special day. It's not meant to be stressful, so just roll with it. Remember what is important. You are married at the end of the day. No one cares if you don't have both chocolate and vanilla cupcakes, or that you had wine because you wanted it, or that you didn't do sparklers. It's your day. Do what makes you happy!
For other ideas, check out some REAL weddings in the other blogs posted in the blog tab!
http://www.joywildflowerphotography.com/
Groom's boutonniere #3 B:
https://www.facebook.com/GatherandBlume
Middle photo flowers ##6. :
https://www.facebook.com/LisaFosterFloralDesign/
Flowers picture # 2:
https://www.facebook.com/thistleandlaceflorals/
Dresses on #3 and #10 :
https://www.facebook.com/White-Lace-and-Promises-161083420611809/
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